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Articles and Interviews
El CABECEO
or the Tango 'look' for inviting a partner
(trans. by E. Marseglia)
Going out to dance tango in Buenos Aires or anywhere else in Argentina is a bit like real work, and although it may make you thirsty, it is best to drink only water to replace the liquid you’ve lost from the stress of it all. A lot of this stress is due to an eye game called el cabeceo, which is the technique used in the milongas and dance halls for inviting a partner to dance. This begins as soon as you enter, or maybe even before, and ends only when you leave. In the more traditional salons a spoken invitation is frowned on and considered quite inappropriate. As I say it’s hard work, but let’s take a closer look at what really goes on.
Normally, four rows of the hall are reserved for el capezo, two on one side for the men, and two on the opposite side for the ladies. Obviously the seats in the front are the best ones for capturing the attention of potential partners and they are usually occupied by the best dancers. The game begins as soon as the dancers sit down.
If you are a man, and want to dance with the lady opposite, you fix your gaze on her, and if she wants to respond she will catch your eye. If she doesn’t want to dance with you, then she will look away. Ladies will do the same if they want to ask a man to dance. What you mustn’t do is look at a person if you don’t want to dance with them.
For someone who has never been in Buenos Aires or in other places in Argentina, this all seems quite incredible and perhaps even unkind, but it is a custom that has developed so that no one has to refuse or be refused, which can be embarrassing and hurtful.
Once eye contact has been made, the gaze can last quite a long time, but don't expect that this looking and your recognition implies an immediate invitation. It’s possible that the person is not really looking at you but at the person next to you, or even someone behind or in front of you or maybe he just wants to make sure that you really want to dance with him. Finally though, he will make a sign, which, if he is looking at an for expert need only be a subtle one. If she is a beginner, he needs to be more expressive and look for a much longer time. Acceptance is indicated by nodding or by closing the eyelids (the beginner will make obvious movements, but after some experience these will also become more subtle). She then remains seated until her partner approaches to a distance of about a meter, or a meter and a half, just to make sure that he comes for her and not for someone seated nearby. At this point she gets up and they enter together the dance floor together and talk for a bit while the music is starting up. This allows them to judge the kind of music, the orchestra and the singer so they know how to interpret them later in their dancing. Finally they start to dance.
After the first tango there will be another and in between a bit of conversation and so on until the end of a series of dances called a tanda. At this point the leader accompanies his partner to her table and they exchange compliments.
What is absolutely not allowed is to criticise your partner or try to instruct. Both of you have made a choice ahead of time and it would not be right to offend or humiliate just because you might be disappointed or critical.
Following are a few general points:
- Remember ladies that it is nearly always the men who make the first move.
- If a person is accompanied by a partner, you must not invite with a 'look'.
- If the lady refuses to look at you, or looks away and you are really interested, you can try looking briefly several times. It is always possible that she wasn't sure at first.
- Don't talk, or only very little, while you are dancing.
- Don't smoke, drink or eat, or only very little… but that's impossible, you will say: I didn't notice!
If you have already danced with the same partner a number of times and on a number of occasions, and you have both enjoyed it, then you have the right to invite even without 'the look'. If this happens then put out your cigarette, swallow down your drink, eat your biscuit quickly, put on your most winning smile and go and dance.
